February 2006

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Safe Sex and Dangerous Knitting

Well, I promised to take a break from being so serious and post some fun projects and essays for 2006, and what's more fun than sex? I missed Valentine's day with these posts, but it's still February so love and lust are the topics of the hour.

New Column

Knitting for Change is starting a new column written by guest authors and designers. To stick to our topics of safe sex and dangerous knitting, this month I've invited Naomi Dagen Bloom to write about her invention of knitted condom amulets and her concern for the education of seniors about STDs and safe sex. We usually think of sex education and risky sex when we think about teenagers, but Naomi points out that today's seniors may be at more risk than young people because they grew up in a time before HIV and AIDS and when people were embarassed to talk frankly about sex and STDs. As widows and divorcees enter the dating game again in their 50s and above, they face a scary world.

Naomi also is a proponent of urban composting and has been making knitted worms to promote the idea. You can read more about her work on her website at cityworm.com.

Over the next few months, I'll be inviting guests to write about green knitting and about knitting for cats and dogs in shelters.

This Month's Material

This month I talk about Safe Sex in my personal essay. Well, I guess that's at least partly serious, but there's some fun stuff there too!

Learn how to make double thick fabric or a circular piece on two needles using Double Knitting.

Check out Dangerous Knitting for links to a bunch of sexy knitting projects.

Inspired by Naomi's work, I've designed several Condom Amulets.

Enjoy!

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Guest author Naomi Dagen Bloom shares her concern about sexually active seniors

Safe Sex for Seniors

by Naomi Dagen Bloom

Why would a 70+ woman be wearing a Condom Amulet in New York City?

It’s not the new style for the “Sex in the City” crowd. I invented it to get your attention. I’m worried about women over 50 . New divorcees married forever, then dumped for a younger woman. I worry about women recently widowed at 65 who start dating and have never heard about STDs. Their doctors don’t tell them. No one tells them.

In Pennsylvania's Allegheny County, advocates guess the number of HIV/AIDS cases will rise among people 50-plus because the county's senior population is the second largest in the U.S. outside Palm Beach County, Florida. It’s up to you to tell your mother to carry a condom, talk to her about risky sex.

Knit her a Condom Amulet—to wear around her neck, or as a pin. “Mom, someone said this was a great way to use my odds and ends from knitting. Pretty cute, right? Couple of beads on it. Oh that? It’s a condom. You’ve been telling me how things are getting cozier with the guy at the senior center. I guess it’s my turn to talk to you about the facts of life and how HIV isn’t just about gay men.” You might save her life.

I featured a photo of Naomi's condom amulets last year.

For more information on safe sex for seniors and HIV prevention, see:

• Intimacy and aging: Tips for sexual health and happiness from the Mayo Clinic on CNN.com

• For Seniors: How to Maintain Sexual Health and Intimacy from HealthyPlace.com

• What Are HIV Prevention Needs of Adults Over 50? from the Center for AIDS Prevention Studies at the University of California San Franciso

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The Safe Sex Part

WARNING: Sexually explicit and strongly opinionated material follows. If you'll find this offensive, please click here to go to this month's links, pattern, and knitting lesson and skip this material.

Unfortunately, many young people today are not being taught the truth about safe sex because the US government is sponsoring innacurate and innefective abstinence-only education in our public schools with the disasterous results of increased teen pregnancy and and STDs because of decreased condom use wherever this program is in effect.

I think the whole premise of abstinence is stupid. Although I do believe that young people should wait to have sex until they are ready and should not be pressured into doing anything they find uncomfortable, it is foolish to abstain from sex until marriage. Why? Well, for several reasons.

First, what fun is that? I wasted too much of my youth being afraid of sex and pretending that I was trying to be holy when I was really just trying to avoid growing up. I wouldn't wish what I went through on any teen. Fortunately, I somehow escaped being told that masturbation was a sin, and when I was a teenager I read an article in Cosmo that encouraged young women to explore their bodies so they'd be comfortable with sexual contact and know how to please themselves. (Today Cosmo has a special edition for teens called Cosmo Girl as well as a column and a book on sexual positions called the Cosmo Kama Sutra. And for some educational and entertaining information about sex, see the Sex Week at Yale magazine online.)

I've since heard that many kids were told that masturbation would make them go blind or crazy, or even grow hair on their palms! I also was very sad to hear that many women go through their whole lives without experiencing a single orgasm. Eve Ensler talks about this in her wonderful book and play, The Vagina Monologues, which she wrote to encourage women to talk frankly and comfortably about their bodies. We should celebrate and enjoy our bodies, not be ashamed of them. Well, eventually I did grow up and you'll never guess what I discovered:

Woohoo! Sex is fun! It's normal! It's natural!

It's good exercise. It makes you feel good. It cures headaches.

It's better than chocolate. And it's (usually) free!

Ok, I admit that having fun isn't the best reason to make a major life decision. So....

Second, you wouldn't marry someone before getting to know if they can balance a checkbook, whether they are a neatnick or a slob, or if they put the toilet seat down and the cap on the toothbrush. So, why would you marry someone when you don't know if they are a sensitive or good lover? Although many (if not most) hetero men can enjoy sex with any naked woman, most women need lovers who take the time to make sure they are satisfied. How sad to go through life with an insensitive lover or with a lover who can't or won't take the time to give you an orgasm! Too many women in the past have lived like this and it's not acceptable.

Third, it's almost unheard of for people to marry in their teens these days, and few marry in their early twenties. In fact, many people put off marriage until their 30s, some decide not to marry at all, and gay men and lesbians are not allowed to get married in most states in the US. Are these people, like the character in the movie The 40 Year Old Virgin, supposed to abstain from sex for their entire lives? It might make a funny movie, but how sad (and unrealistic) for people in the real world!

Finally, sexual repression is not healthy for people or for society. The idea that you should only have sex with one person in your entire life is based on tribal taboos that have nothing to do with a realistic view of human nature. It is primarily religions and reactionary politicians who promote abstinence, looking back to the "good old days" of the 1950s and beyond when Ozzie and Harriet represented the happy and normal "family values." No-one seems to remember that this facade was covering up the unhappy marriages, frustrated and oppressed women, and sexual repression that led to the social upheavals of the 1960s. If we bottle up our sexual feelings, we will eventually explode.

Regardless of whether you agree or disagree with me that it's not a good idea to remain a virgin until marriage, the fact is that most people won't do this. Sex is natural and fun, and when we're in our teens and 20s our hormones are raging, making it all but impossible to remain sexually inactive. We need to make sure that all people, whether young or old, married or single, striaght or gay, have information on safe sex and easy access to contracteption. It is the moral thing to do. While a lot of people make noise about morality and sexuality, morality should not about who we fuck. Is should be about alleviating suffering and helping people live lives filled with joy, peace, and love.

So, what does sex have to do with knitting? Check out the Dangerous Knitting portion to find out...

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The Dangerous Knitting Part

OK, this month's links aren't really about charity. But this is the activist part of Knitting for Change. Sexuality is healthy and we should enjoy our bodies. These articles and sexy knitting projects can help you and your parnter practice!

Sex & the Knitty. Knitty.com's sex issue from summer 2004 will never go out of style. It includes a whole collection of articles and sexy knitting patterns including home made edible undies knit with red licorice! Knitty is currently my favorite knitting magazine, but so far none of my designs have been hip enough to be published there!

White Lies Designs. This site has patterns and kits for all kinds of sexy lingerie including thongs, babydolls, camisoles, and corsets. I just ordered this kit. Designer Joan McGowan-Michael says, "This site is dedicated to the concept that large is just as lovely as little, and there are many styles here that show off your shape while remaining comfortable and flattering."

UPDATE: Joan McGowan-Michael appeared on Knitty Gritty on March 6th. If you missed this episode on "Naughty Knits", it will be repeating on April 27th. Here's a description: Knitwear designer Joan McGowan-Michael, of White Lies Designs, visits host Vickie Howell to demonstrate her wearable knit lingerie. Never before have undergarments been so comfortable! Joan will show us how to knit a lacy camisole, which can be worn as lingerie for the coy and as outerwear for the bold!

The pattern for this camisole, along with tips on knitting lace and finishing are on the Knitty Gritty website.

Sexy Little Knits is a new book by celebrity swimsuit designer Ashley Paige. In the book she has both knit and crochet patterns for flirty, fabulous bikinis, one-piece swimsuits, miniskirts, tank tops, camisoles and more.

Danglie Bits has knitting patterns for, well, danglie bits. You'll have to see this hoo-hoo and willie warmer to believe them! Sorry no sneek-peak photos here!

A "Knitting is Sexy" thong is for sale on Cafe Press. Wear it if you dare!

Sex Advice From Knitters includes tips on knitting for significant others and answers the questions "Can knitting get me laid?" and "What public places are best for picking up chicks with my knitting?" Oh my! See what Lilly Chin has to say about how knitting can improve your sex life.

Citizen Skein's blog has a collection of knitted naughty bits that are anatomically correct body parts, both male and female. Are you brave enough to look?

Knit Porn. This brand new blog is looking for pictures of sexy knitters and sexy knitting. Regardless of the name "porn", you can be as risque or as modest as you want in your photos, as long as your photo includes knitting and is sexy.

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Lesson: Double Knitting

Double knitting is a very easy technique to master, even though is sounds difficult and looks like magic. You use two straight needles to knit back and forth, but you end up with a tube of knitting. It's a great technique to make a double thick fabric for a yoga mat or rug, and it's also a cool way to make a pillow, hat, or bag. I used the technique in the condom amulets because I didn't want to use double-pointed needles for such a small project and I was too lazy to sew seams.

1. Cast on an even number of stitches.

2. Work every row as follows: *Knit 1 st, slip 1 st as if to purl with yarn in front. Rep from * to end of row. Turn.

That's it! Every two rows across makes one round of knitting. You are basically knitting half of the stitches on each pass. Be very careful to put the yarn in front when you slip the stitches, or you won't have an open tube. The yarn has to be in between the two layers of fabric when you slip the stitches.

I bet you thought this would be harder, didn't you?

If you lose count, it's very easy to find your place if you're using plain yarn (don't try this technique with furry yarn until you practice on smooth wool or cotton first).

Knit the first stitch and the stitches that look like Vs. These are the knits on the RS of the fabric:

Slip the 2nd stitch and the stitches that look like bumps. These stitches are hidden between the knit stitches after the first couple of rows:

3. To cast off:

If you want a double thick layer of fabric that doesn't open on the end:

• Bind off normally.

If you want an open tube for a hat or a bag or for a pillow that you'll stuff:

• Either slip the front sts to one double-pointed needle and the back sts to a second, or just pull the needle out and rearrange the stitches so the front stitches are on one needle and the back sts on a second.
• Using a thrid needle, bind off the sts on the front needle, turn.
• Bind off the sts on the back needle.

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Pattern: Condom Amulets

These condom amulets are fun and easy to make and they are great accessories to decorate your wardrobe and give you an easy way to help make a difference for good! Just tuck a couple of condoms into your amulet, and a couple of safe sex pamphlets into your purse, and you can give them out to anyone who asks about your amulet.

Here are a couple of sites that have PDF pamphlets you can download and print:

The Yiffy Guide to Safer Sex

Safe Sex and Condoms: Essential Facts

Instructions

Cast on 14, 16 or 18 sts.

Work every row in double knitting as follows:
*Knit 1 st, slip 1 st as if to purl with yarn in front. Rep from * to end of row. Turn.

When amulet measures 2 to 3 inches tall (depending on how big your condom packets are), separate the front and back stitches onto separate needles.

Bind off the front stitches.

For a flap, purl one RS row on the back sts for a turning ridge.

Continue to make the flap working back and forth in garter stitch (knit every row) or stockinette stitch (knit RS rows and purl WS rows), until flap is about 1 inch long.

Tip: you can also decrease on the sides of the flap on every other row to make a pointy flap instead of a squarish flap.

Bind off and weave in ends.

Use a crochet chain, a braid, a string of beads, or a strip of leather as a strap. Sew or tie the strap onto the sides of the top opening of the amulet.

Using a needle and thread sew beads onto the amulate to decorate as desired. Attaching beads to the edge of the flap will help keep the amulet closed.