Donna Druchunas's Blog

It seems like lately I've been buying fewer and fewer knitting books. Nothing is really catching my eye. But here are two must-have's for this fall:

Knitted Lace of Estonia, Nancy Bush
Available November, 2008
The beauty and elegance of Estonian knitted lace is well-known to lace knitters, but this is the first book in English of patterns and detailed techniques. From the cover, this looks like an exceptionally beautiful book by Nancy Bush.


Knitting on Top of the World, Nicky Epstein
Available November, 2008
Highly regarded for her many books on edgings and embellishments, in this new book she draws inspirations from worldwide knitting traditions to create elegant and elaborate designs using cables, lace intarsia and more. 40 designs including 'Celtic Pullover with braided twisted rib strips; a Snowflake Tunic from the Far North; a Felted Tyrolean Capelet with appliqué, cord, and balls; a Spanish Rose Pullover with lace accents; a colorful Peruvian skirt; and an oversized, zipped Navajo Blanket Jacket."

This one also looks nice, but I want to check it out first:

Shetland Lace, Gladys Amedro
Available November, 2008
Now back in print! For those who find lace irresistible, in particular Shetland Lace, there are several beautiful patterns to knit. There are instructions for stitch designs; shawls, babies garments and 2 stoles/scarves.

This is a perfect weekend.

I finished knitting this shawl, Bigfoot from Wrapped in Comfort by Alison Hyde. Doesn't it look like wings? I guess they're not angel wings since it's black! :-)



It's a variation of a feather and fan pattern made out of a Tilli Tomas silk/kelp blend. I didn't want to pin it out and block it because it is too complicated to get the undulating edge that is natural for the feather and fan pattern, so I just steamed it through a towel to open it up and flatten it out. I think it came out great. It's also short enough to wrap around and around and around the neck like a big scarf, but it's too hot to model that way right now!

I cleaned my house and did laundry. I always put this off, but it's actually very relaxing to go through the task of organizing the external manifestation of your life and then it's lovely to relax in a clean house and read a book. It's no wonder that Julia Cameron often suggests cleaning out a sock drawer or something similar to help unblock your creativity.

I read a fun YA vampire book, Twilight. My hairdresser told me everyone at the shop was reading it when she saw me reading one of Francesca Lia Block's books while I was under the dryer getting my pink color set.

Now I am listening to Bach for Breakfast, while a last load of laundry is running, and I am going to make a cup of coffee.

There's something to be said for enjoying the comforts of home. Now, if my house was in Vilnius instead of Longmont, everything would be perfect! I just need a Čurlionis CD. I think I'll pick one up next summer.

Neil Gaiman just wrote this:

I just learned that the finger I'd thought was sprained in China is actually fractured, so I will be signing books with the middle finger of my right hand in a small blue-felt and metal finger-brace.

I just went for ankle x-rays yesterday because the ankle I thought was sprained in Lithuania still hurts. I have a doctor appointment in the morning to find out what's going on. Whatever it is, it won't be as funny as signing thousands of books with your middle finger sticking straight up into the air.

UPDATE: My ankle is not fractured. Probably tore one or more ligaments, though. Have to wear a brace and do exercises for at least six more weeks.

Ever wonder what I do at my day job? I work at home (and sometimes in Lithuania) for a really cool small software company. So now I need to test an ad for them, so here it is. If you design websites using Photoshop, you really should check out this product. It converts layered Photoshop files into web sites FAST, I mean like in a matter of seconds sometimes. OK, depending on what you are doing, it could take 5 or 10 minutes. But that's a hell of a lot faster than using Dreamweaver or another tool where you have to spend hours or days slicing then reassembling the graphics. So check it out.

I have been making scarves and shawls for years and I can't stop. OK, in the past I made sweaters, bags, mittens, gloves, hats, and all kinds of things. But for the longest time, all I want to make is scarves and shawls--in lace or really easy stitches. And the next one I'm going to start is from Knitty 2004, and it falls into the really easy category.


Clapotis Scarf by Kate Gilbert made with Lorna's Laces Lion and Lamb Print.

I want to make it exactly as shown, in hot pink and orange. Does that make me a follower? There are over 7000 people with this project on Ravelry. Oh, and I want to wear it in Paris (or Vilnius).

I'm teaching at the Taos Wool Festival, so I think I'll buy this yarn for myself as a reward afterward. Or maybe I'll get something absolutely FABULOUS from La Lana Wools while I am in Taos. FYI, absolutely FABULOUS yarns usually require a very simple project. I just love to relax and feel the yarn flowing through my fingers. They also require absolutely FABULOUS knitting needles!

I changed my hair... old and new me...



By request, here's what I really look like:

This is the premise of a play.

Imagine:
That you must choose one single memory from your life - everything else will be erased forever
That choosing this memory is your only way of passing through to eternity
That you have one hour to choose

Choose now:
From your whole life, from all you've ever done, felt or thought… what is the one thing you treasure most?

I'm not telling. It's a secret. :-) Seriously, what a horrible thing to have to choose. I don't think I could do it.

You don't have to tell either. But if you want to, go for it in the comments.

I've posted some more thoughts on spirituality without superstition on The Atheist's Way. Enjoy.

Neil Gaiman just got back from spending a month in China and is sharing some thoughts about being away and coming home. It will be interesting (for me at least) to see what he has to say over the next few days or weeks. Today he said this:

G. K Chesterton observed that one of the best things about being away is that you get to see what you come back to with different eyes.

Found myself amazed by the size of my house, for example. There are a lot of people in China, and they live, on the whole, in much smaller places than mine. (Actually, that's probably true of most of the world: it takes a certain idiocy to want to live in an Addams Family House in the first place). But having, over the last month, met a number of families in which several generations lived in one apartment, spread over -- or squeezed into -- a couple of rooms, it seems really strange to have so much space.

And (score!!!!) I got tickets to hear him read from his new book, The Graveyard Book, at Boulder Bookstore on October 7. It's too bad he won't be signing books, because I'd have him sign my Lithuanian copy of Stardust (ˇvaig˛d˛ių Dulkės). Oh the event is not actually going to be held at the bookstore, they don't have enough room.

Of course, being Neil (as if I actually knew him), there's no telling if he'll write any more about his trip on the blog or not. He's definitely got a unique blogging style and he apparently wastes much less time on the internet than other writers -- like me -- do. Hmm. Can you take a hint, Donna?

Apparently I can. This morning I created a special account on my Mac that only lets me access my writing software. I used parental controls to block internet access on myself. Sure, I can switch accounts any time or go into another room and easily find another computer attached to the internet, but that would take more than five seconds, so I probably won't do it. Just knowing that I've signed onto my "writing" account will clue me in that it's time to kick the internet habit -- for a few hours, at least.

And yet here I am, at 2:52 am on the internet because I couldn't sleep and, well, what else is there to do at 2:52 am besides surf the net or look for B movies on TV? Oh yeah, get a drink of water and go back to bed!

But this is frakking cool, Neil is working on a travel book. That's all I know about it, but check out this interview, which may have more information. But since I've decided to go back to bed, I will have to find out tomorrow.

Oh and I found some really, really cool writing software that completely takes over your computer so you can't see anything else while you are writing. Sorry, PC users, it's only available for Mac. The coolest thing is that it can open Word files and it only costs $25!

It occurred to me that some of my recent posts sound like I'm not working on any knitting projects these days. That could not be further from the truth! Here's what's in the works:

1. Ethnic Knitting Exploration, the second book in my series, is going to the printer very soon. It should be available in October, I think. How can we do that? Because it's printed in Canada, not China, so it doesn't take 3 months to get back here on a boat. This book includes a chapter on Lithuanian knitting, as well as information on Icelandic and Irish knitting. There are raglan (Lithuania), yoke (Iceland), and saddle-shoulder (Aran Islands) sweaters, as well as small projects to help you practice each skill before making a whole sweater. I just got the page proofs from my editor and, as usual, I'm amazed that I actually wrote this and that my ugly Word documents have been turned into such a beautiful book! Thanks Deb. I know you've had trouble all year, but I think it's been worth it. Knock on wood, after this book is done, you will be able to solve the computer problems and have a better year in 2009!

2. Ethnic Knitting Adventure, book three in the series, which includes fitted garments from Japan, Bavaria, and Turkey, is about 90% written and that book will go into production next spring. Not sure if it will be released in fall 2009 or spring 2010, so check back for updates.

3. A new lace book about Dorothy Reade, the woman who was so influential in getting the Oomingmak knitting co-op in Alaska started. This book has fabulous projects from 20 wonderful designers, and right now I'm working out some details to get it published as a full-color coffee table book, so cross your fingers and wish me luck! I still have no idea when this book will come out, but I hope to get it into production with a publisher and find out what the publication date will be by the end of the year.

4. A big book on Lithuanian knitting. I'm writing this with my friend June Hall, who has been doing research about Lithuanian knitting for years. After my language courses this summer, we spent a couple of weeks traveling around the country visiting museums, farmers, knitters and spinners and, WOW, you will love this book. But we haven't written it yet, so you'll have to take my word for that.

5. Two articles for Spin-Off Magazine, one on Dorothy Reade's spinning and one on spinning and knitting and weaving in Lithuania. Don't miss those next year. I've never been published in Spin-Off before, so I'm very excited about these articles. And my recent article on Dorothy Reade in Piecework will give you a sneak peek into that future book.

After my trip, I decided that I have to work on one big project at a time. I completely overloaded myself earlier in the year and I am not going to do that again. So some of these projects will get done more slowly than I originally planned. And that's OK. Writing is a slow business and it's best to just get into the groove and relax instead of bucking the system and making yourself crazy trying to rush things along. Plus, doing one thing at a time means that each project will get my undivided attention and I can put more of my heart into the work.

Juggling projects seems to add to my stress. I used to be good at multi-tasking, but lately I think the whole idea of trying to do many things at once is just stupid. Some idiot at a corporation who wanted to lay off half of his employees and still get the same amount of work done must have invented the idea. (Kiss Off Corporate America is the now OOP book that got me started on the path of finding my own way to make money, and the title is still my motto!)

What do you do when your world gets turned upside down? I found that when I was in Europe, I didn't want my new friends to discover that I write for Skepchick. What does it mean when you've been doing something for years, and suddenly you find that you are embarrassed by it?

I am not sure what else I can say about this right now. I just have realized that if something I am doing embarrasses me, I probably need to stop doing it. So I'm stepping down from writing regularly on Skepchick. I will continue as the book club editor (for lack of a better title) there, but I will be focusing my blogging in other areas.

It's not that I don't believe in the mission of Skepchick -- which is to encourage critical thinking and science education among women -- or that I've suddenly discovered that I believe in God again. I do and I haven't. It's that I just am disillusioned by the whole skeptic and atheist movements. They and I are moving in different directions. I wrote this on The Atheist's Way blog last week:

I've been an atheist for about 14 or 15 years. I was raised as a Christian, was born again at age 9, baptized in the Holy Spirit at 14, and dropped out of high school to attend Bible School instead of college. I slowly lost my faith after I stopped attending church in the early 1990s, and I've never looked back. Obviously there's a longer version of that story, and I will probably share bits and pieces of it with you from time to time.

For the first few years of my faithless life, I didn't think about God or church or religion very much at all. Then George W. Bush got elected, planes crashed into the Twin Towers in New York City, and Sam Harris wrote The End of Faith. I found myself getting sucked into religion again, this time as an critic, rather than as a follower. I've been blogging about atheism and skepticism, following politics closely, and reading a lot of blogs by the prominent atheist figures for several years.

To be frank, I'm getting tired of it all once again. It hasn't been any more fulfilling than going to church was. I don't care who believes in god(s) and who doesn't. I am not interested in making fun of believers, laughing at pictures of Jesus on toast, or deciding what form of religion -- fundamentalism or liberalism -- is more authentic.

What I am interested in is something that I call spirituality without superstition, and that's the topic I intend to discuss here. I want to explore how we unbelievers, those of us who don't believe in gods or spirits or maybe even souls, can experience the same wonder, awe, and exhilaration that believers find in the sanctuary on Sunday morning. I want to talk about how we can make meaning in our lives without having to depend on a holy book or a sage to show us the way. I want to explore ways to talk about spirituality without using the words that have been co-opted by religions and superstitions.

So, is it a long or short story how and why this all came to the surface while I was in Lithuania? Probably a long one, so I won't even try to tell it here. As usual, I plan to spend the last couple of months of the year evaluating my goals and my writing plans, but right now I think I will be focusing more on my neglected Charity Knitting blog next year, and spending some time talking about spirituality for the unbeliever on The Atheist's Way. I'll also be continuing to work on my memoir about my own spiritual journey into and then away from Christianity, and I hope to be able to share some of that on De-Conversion, where I have shared two or three posts in the past.

There's a lot more on my mind. I'll keep you posted.

Today's blog entry is an interview with the authors of Casual, Elegant Knits: Classy Designs for Men and Women -- Faina Goberstein and Dawn Leeseman. This is a wonderful book, a great addition to any knitter's library. I've already made one project from it, and have several more on my wish list. (Now that I've ripped out all of my UFOs, I won't feel guilty starting something else!)

DD: Good morning ladies! Welcome to Sheep to Shawl, my blog about knitting, writing, and life. I was very excited to get your book after my trip to Europe, because it reminded me so much of my travels. I'd like to talk to you about European design sensibilities, and your own design backgrounds, because I'm interested in how each designer approaches the design process and how our experiences are reflected in our designs.

FG: Good morning, Donna. What a pleasure to talk to you. Dawn and I both are big fans of your designs and always are keeping an eye on what you are doing. We would love to hear what questions you have for us.

DD: I noticed that a lot of your patterns have very European styling. The man carrying the felted bag, for example. When I was in Europe over the last two summers, I saw many men carrying bags like this on the street. In the U.S. it doesn't seem to be very popular yet, perhaps only in a few big cities. Did European fashion influence your designs a lot?

DL: Definitely! I love that the European man is so practical, I mean these days, men in general have a lot more to carry around and I think it is smart to be organized. The city that we live in is a college town; so it is common to see men with bags, we thought it would be great to knit up an organizer bag in a sturdy stitch pattern as well as felt some larger bags to accommodate the lap top or books.

FG: I could add to what Dawn is saying that in Europe many people use a public transportation and for them it is a necessity to have a compact and convenient bag for all the items they need throughout the day. Most Americans, unless they live in large metropolitan areas, drive their car and keep everything there. We wanted to suggest this, as you said, “European look” for a man.

DD: Do either of you have a background in fashion design? Your individual designs and the collections are very fashion forward, without being trendy. Please tell us about your design backgrounds.

DL: I do not have a fashion background, but I have always been interested in clothing styles. When I was younger, I did a lot of sewing. I would say that I pay attention to what is in style, what I would like to see in style, and use that as a basis for my designs. Even though I do not have a professional design background, I have studied on my own for years learning how to construct knitting garments, and did eventually trade my original design work to learn how to write and size knitting patterns from an instructor who teaches at the Fashion Institute of Design in San Francisco, so I do consider that part of my work as having some professional training.

FG: I also do not have a background in fashion design in a professional sense. I have a MS in mechanical engineering and worked in Russia as a design engineer. As part of my training, I had to draw and draft while paying attention to the details. When I took a two-year course on knitting design taught by a Russian designer, I saw many parallels between my daytime job and the fashion design. There were formulas based on a body measurements and proportions. The pattern construction was stressed the most. We had to take a drawing of a basic pattern and change it around for a tailored look or a princess-cut dress, for example. I do not believe that you can teach creativity. You either have it or not. I always loved fashion and always paid attention to dress lines and details. I love different collars, belts, buttons, and buckles. Originally I am from a large city where people dressed up going to work, to the university, to the movies, on a date, to the park, to the theater, you name it. Being interested in fashion was part of my life. Now, living in America, I am still that way. Sometimes I meet exchange students from Russia and smile because at the beginning of their stay here, they always put nice clothes on going to class. After a few weeks they are in jeans and tee shirts, so they blend in the crowd.

DD: Unlike the majority of knitting books, you have a large number of patterns for men in Casual, Elegant Knits. What inspired you to design for men? Are there specific men in your lives whom you envision while you are designing men's garments and accessories?

DL: Since we both work in a yarn shop, we see what is available for men in patterns. It seems that the patterns for woman keep up with fashion, while we have seen very little changes in the styling for men. It also seemed to me that the publications put a “token” pattern or two for men and the remaining patterns devoted to the woman. We thought the time had come to even out that injustice. We saw it as a great opportunity to have our say and wanted to express our ideas in this area of design. We also wanted to welcome the male knitter into out knitting world.

FG: Many men I know love classic and nicely fit knitwear. It can show their body in a very flattering way. Who would not like that? In our book we tried to accommodate a man who likes fashion. I thought we did a good job on offering patterns that are stylish and comfortable. My son and my husband both are in love with our men’s collection.

DD: Normally "casual" and "elegant" don't seem to go together, but you have succeeded in creating a knitwear collection that is both casual and elegant. Where do you get your inspiration and how to you go from an idea to a finished garment?

DL: I love what is called “soft dressing”. Comfortable clothes that have style. I personally like to get dressed for the day and do not want to change again for any other setting, so I choose clothes that will not be out of place no matter where my day takes me. I know this has influenced my design choices. I like a feminine to somewhat romantic look for women and I like colors that do not stand out.

As far as going from an idea to a finished garment, I usually start with the yarn, next the sketch, and then I begin map out how I am going to get there. The last step may require use of graph paper to see the dimensions and charting out the stitch pattern to see how that is going to work for the stitch and row repeat.

FG: In my opinion classic, simple lines in clothing will never go out of style. Look at the “Little Black Dress” by Coco Chanel. How simple and how elegant that dress is. Think about this. What pieces of clothing will you choose if you are on a budget, but you want to look elegant? I bet you are not going to buy anything that will not stay in fashion long.

A nice looking, well-made casual clothes is also elegant. If you made our Funnel-Neck Top and paired it up with the Little Flirt Skirt, you have two pieces in your wardrobe that can be worn during daytime and in the evening can be dressed up with some nice necklace for a party.

The second part of your question is about designing such clothes. I start mostly with the idea and a sketch. Next, I am hunting for yarn that helps to bring this idea to life. It can be a long search that includes many generous swatches. When decision is made, calculations are done, and knitting begins you can say with about 70% assurance that you got it.

DD: I love that you have coordinated ensembles in this book, rather than just a collection of stand-alone pieces. Do you have advice for us on how to build a functional and fashionable wardrobe that features our hand-knits?

DL: I think every woman needs some good basic pieces in her wardrobe that are somewhat neutral in color. I love black and brown and I wear a lot of skirts. When I buy skirts and tops in these colors, I choose a style that flatters my shape but does not have a lot of detail that way it goes with almost anything that I knit. Staying somewhat basic in those pieces allow my knitted garments to be more of a focal point in my wardrobe.

FG: I agree. You can have a fun-looking vest or cardigan that is not in neutral colors that you can put over the tank and a skirt that are and you will be still look great. The basic pieces in your wardrobe are a must.

FG: Donna, tell me about your trip to Lithuania and your new book. You live a very exciting life.

DD: Too much to tell in such a short space. I spent most of the summer in Lithuania taking language courses and traveling around to learn about the knitting traditions of the country. I am working on a book, with June Hall, a local historian from England, about the knitting of Lithuania. My next book, which comes out this fall, Ethnic Knitting Exploration, also includes a chapter about Lithuanian knitting to whet your appetite!

FG: This is very interesting. I am looking forward to see your book. Thank you very much for hosting Dawn and me today. We are going to visit with Jennifer Tallapaneni tomorrow. Tell your readers to come along. Thank you, again.

So here I am wondering if anyone else from my Lithuanian summer course is so obsessed with it all... I'm 8500 km away and still wishing it wasn't all over, my summer was so wonderful. OK, I know a few people in the class live in Vilnius, so they obviously love it! And at least one person decided to stay after the course was over... and I wasn't the only one wishing I could stay longer. We were all talking about it. And even my friend June, who took the course several years ago, was collaborating with me on how we could rent a flat there so we could go back whenever we wanted, hassle free. She also mentioned how she relaxes into the place whenever she gets there and she never wants to leave. Even Dom looks more relaxed there. Is it just the slower pace in Europe? Or is it something else...

But I imagine everyone else is back home, back to their normal lives, not thinking about this every day. Not looking at their photos and sighing every day. Not doing everything they can to resist falling back into the old routine and way of being. I could let it go. I could just fall back to who I was and what I was doing before my trip. But I was terribly unhappy earlier in the year. Even though I had some mood swings while I was in Lithuania -- not every day was cheerful abandon -- even though I was down sometimes and melancholy and even though after two weeks I wanted to come home so badly, I liked myself better in Vilnius than I've liked myself in America for years. And after the hump, I had a mild buzz for the rest of the trip. I haven't felt so centered in a very long time. Does that make any sense?

OK, now I've been home for as long as I was gone and I still can't quite shake the feelings. Sorry for the rambling but I'm not quite ready to let this go yet because I don't know what it is that I don't want to let go of and what it was that made me so different while I was in Lithuania. If I can figure that out! Well, I don't know what will happen but I really want to figure that out! Especially if I can figure out how to be that way while I am at home. Otherwise, I will eventually move. Which is not a bad thing. It's just that we are in the middle of a 10year plan -- it will take about 5 years to pay off the house. Then we can go to Europe for a year or two, and then we will figure out where we want to live next: here, Europe, or somewhere else in the US. I am fairly certain it won't be here for the strange yet simple reason that we both feel much better when we are not here. We blame it on the altitude. I guess it could be something else.

OK, I can't stand it any more. The projects from The Knitted Rug can't live in my house any more. Most have never been used and they are in a box in the closet. I wonder if anyone would want to buy them. What do you think? Should I put them up on e-Bay or something?

I also think I'm going to sell some of my yarn after I finish my ripping spree. My house is just getting way too cluttered. I want to go back to my stash fitting into a hope chest!

Wow..... I have had mood swings all of my life, but I have never gotten used to them. Oh well. At any rate, after feeling like shit last week and thinking I'd never be able to write again, I have had major breakthroughs on two of my books! I have figured out -- or am figuring out -- how to reorganize the books to make them much better, and to be able to write them quickly. Usually when something is right, when it clicks, I can write it quickly. When I don't have the organization or voice or structure yet, then it becomes very difficult, and often impossible, to write. Sometimes you just have to let it ferment before you can get the words onto the page. Sometimes you have to force yourself to write, just to keep yourself going and not to become a vegetable. At times I find it impossible to tell the difference. At any rate, I feel good this week. Not great, not ecstatic, which is fine because high-highs usually crash into low-lows, but good, productive, efficient, creative, and happy. Such is the roller coaster of a writer's life!

Has anyone ever ripped out all of their UFOs and started over? I feel like mine are hanging over my head and making knitting no fun because I feel bad about starting new projects with all the old ones sitting there. I think I am going to clean out my yarn room this weekend and rip out almost all of my UFOs, except for 2 or 3 that I think I can finish very quickly. I think it will be very liberating to rip all of that stuff out!!!!

I was at a Google Adwords class all day yesterday. I was going to write about the European Festival at Denver, which was wonderful, but I was just seduced by this ad on Facebook. Who knew that KnitPicks advertised on Facebook? And who knew a knitted turtle could be so desirable? I have a turtle my grandmother crocheted when I was little. It is ugly, partly because she never finished it, so it has no face. But Sheldon wants me to make him. I can tell. He is sending me advertising messages! I think I am going to order this kit. And it's only $19.99 so it won't break the bank.

Here's the skinny from Knit Picks:

You first saw Sheldon on Knitty.com and now, with the help of designer Ruth Homrighaus, he has joined us at Knit Picks to discover a world of dress-up. This kit contains enough yarn to make the original Sheldon with shell along with 5 other whimsical "career" shells and accessories, designed by Brooke Higgins. Dress Sheldon as a pirate, police officer, superhero, beach bum or a cowboy and take him along on your own adventures. He is a great traveling companion because he will always do whatever it is you want to do.

Yes, you can get the basic pattern free from Knitty, but without the kit, I doubt I would ever actually make this.

The costume patterns are available only from KnitPicks and I really, really want Pirate Sheldon! How cool is that? Gotta have it. Excuse me while I go dig out my credit card number....and join the knitalong. I love the idea of having Sheldon as a traveling companion too. My friend June has a small bear who goes everywhere with her. Not a replacement for Dom, but I'm sure I'll appreciate the turtle company next time I travel alone. And did you know that KnitPicks has a Facebook page?

Oh, and I almost forgot to tell you all that I was interviewed for the KnitPicks podcast earlier in the week, so keep an eye out for that!

I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but with 30 UFOs hanging around, I am very excited to get something done. I finished the Lacy Scarf from Casual Elegant Knits by by Dawn Leeseman and Faina Goberstein. Now Now I am going to try to finish something else next week. I also spent the afternoon making jam. I almost forgot how much I enjoy that and how relaxing it is. Our apples are ripe and I made an apple-orange marmalade with raisins and spices. Yummy!


Aren't sunflowers yummy too?


Anything with mohair is my favorite.


I just love the image of this chair.

The interesting thing is that this pattern is almost exactly the same as this swatch I photographed at Casa Lana in Vilnius in 2007 because I wanted to figure out how to do the stitch!



Tomorrow I'm going to go fart around at the European Festival in Denver today and pretend I didn't have to come home last month.

The things I do not know vastly outnumber the things I do know. Here's something I did not know:

Bluestocking /bloo-stok-ing/ noun: a woman with considerable scholarly, literary, or intellectual ability or interest.

Cool, huh? I am going to buy some blue stockings today! Oh, and check out The Bluestocking Society: A Confabulation on Books.

Although I sound like I'm sitting around stewing and doing nothing lately, I have been knitting. Knitting is a great thing to do when you can't make yourself do anything else. I have 30 UFOs, which I don't let myself think about. I really, really like starting new projects. Finishing, I'm not so fond of. That goes for books, knitting projects, and most everything else.

So... the projects in my "current" knitting bag that sits next to my couch are three lace projects. They are all easy -- that is the stitches can be memorized after a few repeats -- and they are all very different. And I didn't design any of them, so I can just blithely go along following the instructions to make something lovely that was originally imagined by someone other than me! Well, not quite, because I tech edited two of the projects, so I have to worry about finding mistakes (so far I haven't) and the third project I changed a tiny bit, but not enough that anyone besides me could tell.

I love designing my own pieces but sometimes there is joy in just making something according to a plan. It is still an act of creation and the hand work involved provides the meditative qualities of knitting regardless of whether or not you are working from a pattern. I think I need to knit more. What that means, is I need more easy projects with patterns that can be memorized. At least that is what I need right now. I don't want to think a lot about my knitting. I want to just sit, watch a movie, and let beautiful yarn flow through my fingers as I manipulate gorgeous wooden needles. I want knitting to be a luxurious yet mindless activity right now.

The great thing about knitting, is that whatever frame of mind you are in, knitting can provide something to enhance that. If you want to create from scratch, if you want to fiddle and figure everything out on your own, if you want to exercise your brain cells and stretch your skills, it can provide that. If you want to go blank and let your hands do the same stitch over and over and over again while your mind quiets and you go into a trance, it can provide that. And just about everything in between.

So here are some photos and details.

1. 1) From Casual Elegant Knits by by Dawn Leeseman and Faina Goberstein, I am making this lovely scarf. There is only one row of the six-row pattern that requires thought, and after making the stitch once, it is memorized. It's marked as an intermediate pattern, probably because the yarn -- La Boheme from Fiesta Yarns -- is double stranded with mohair and rayon and it can be a little fussy to work with. Don't be afraid of this pattern even if you are a beginner, though. The La Boheme rips out much more easily than most mohairs and there are rows of garter stitch between each pattern, giving you an easy "landing place" if you are going to rip.

This book is brand new and the authors are conducting a blog book tour right now. They'll be visiting here on September 15th. You can check out more of the tour here.

(Photo of Lacy Scarf courtesy of Martingale and Company, photographed by Brent Kane.)

2. I did not finish the seasilk lace shawl I took to Lithuania with me. From Alison Hyde's book, Wrapped in Comfort, this is a lovely design that will drape over my shoulders to calm the chill on cool autumn afternoons. So I have to get it finished soon! I prefer wool and other furry fibers in the winter, with silk and plant fibers taking center stage in my wardrobe in summer. I've mentioned this book before, because it is full of these lovely shawls (plus a couple of scarves for beginner lace knitters).... but perhaps the best part of the book is the wonderful stories Alison tells about how she created each garment and how they fit into the story of her life. She also has a blog where you can get your fill of stories every week. She's a natural story teller.

3. My third "on the needles" project is from Knit so Fine by Lisa Myers, Carol Sulcoski and Laura Grutzeck. The shawl is made with Carol's hand dyed lace yarn from Black Bunny Fibers. The sample in the book is made in a bright, almost neon, green. I opted for a pale blue color, to replace a favorite stole that I lost last year. The funny thing is, this summer I bought a bright green cashmere stole in Vilnius. Now I am thinking I want to make my own green creation too! But that will have to wait. I really want to finish at least these 3 projects this winter, before I start something else. I already hear the sirens though!

If I have time, I'll post some pictures of my own works-in-progress soon!

Why am I reading about America's retarded politics? Why am I sitting in my basement all day working when I could be outside working and playing? Why did I let my mother have my nice office with a window for her bedroom? Why am I in America? Why can't I write? Why can't I be in Vilnius? Why can't I be content? Why can't I live happily in the here and now? Why? Why? Why?

Please indulge my temper tantrum. Today I feel as shitty about everything as I did before my summer trip. Is leaving the country the only way I can feel better? I hope not because that would suck. The only way I could leave now would be to get a divorce because Dom is not ready to go. And besides, I don't have the money right now. It will take five years for us to be in shape to move or to spend a year or two in Europe. That totally sucks. In the past, I've always moved on a whim. I totally hate being stuck here.

How will I make it for five more years? I am bored to tears, which is not the same as saying I have nothing to do. I have so much to do, it is killing me. And I am not doing it because I DON'T WANT TO. Which makes it worse because after I procrastinate, I will still have all this work hanging over my head. I want to be doing something else somewhere else. I am sick of being responsible and making deadlines and answering email and doing what every one else expects me to do. And yet some part of me does not want to let people down and be a completely irresponsible schmuck. So I am trudging through work that would have made me happy last year and it is making me miserable now.

Isn't this weird? Here I am, in a free life that most people would envy -- I work at home, I write books, I have a (admittedly) great job that allowed me to spend six weeks in Europe -- and I still feel trapped. How the hell do people work at desk jobs for their entire careers without committing suicide? Right now, I want to say "fuck it all" and go to the movies. Maybe I will. And I'll probably regret posting this because I'll just get comments telling me that it will all work out. Viskas bus gerai. That's what they say in Lithuania. Everything's gonna be all right.

I'm sorry to whine so much about not wanting to be here, but frankly it's the primary thing that is on my mind. I'm sure Dom is sick of hearing me whine about it too. Nenoriu būti čia.

---

P.S. For those who might be worried, viskas bus gerai, everything will be OK! :-) And my books will get finished, and I'll go on to work on more new and exciting projects... being a writer is sometimes like riding a merry go round. It can be really fun or incredibly frightening.

Cynthia Morris has a new post about seasonal transitions on her blog. Here are my answers to some of her questions from an older post on the same topic:

What is different for my writing now?

I'm going back to the beginnings where I experimented and wrote for fun and tried different exercises and lied and wrote stories and even some nonsense. Yes, I still have required writing for books in the works, and that is really hard for me to work on right now. I feel like writing has become a chore and I want it to be a joy again.

What have I learned or done in the past four months that has impacted my writing?

Although I haven't been writing much since I got back from Lithuania, I feel like I found a new direction while I was there, mostly influenced by a friend who got me thinking about the writing process again and looking at it in a much more playful way and wanting to be more creative in my writing, rather than focusing so much on the instructions for knitting books. I had originally planned just to write 2 or 3 knitting books that combined narrative text with knitting patterns -- like Arctic Lace -- as a transition from technical writing into more creative writing but I got sucked into doing more knitting books than I had intended. They were fun, but I need to move on. Thank you P----. I wish I was still there so we could have blynai for lunch and talk about writing.

What do I need most now for the next four months?

Vilnius! But since I can't be there, I will make sure I get out of the house every day to work on my language studies and creative writing exercises. Yes, I have a specific project in mind, but I will not allow myself to solidify it in any form. It's very vaporous right now and I will allow it to stay that way. I will even allow it to dissipate, disappear, or turn into something else. I want to just enjoy the ride and go back to what Natalie Goldberg calls beginner's mind.

What can I do differently or change to feel more satisfied with my writing life?

I think I've learned not to take on so many projects that overlap in time and to keep some projects to myself longer, without deadlines or commitments, so I can work on them creatively without trying to polish them before they're even formed. I want to have more time to work on creative writing without feeling any pressure to perform up to anyone else's expectations. I want to enjoy the process without always worrying about the product. I never really understood this before. Yes, I can crunch out nonfiction books at an amazing pace, and in that way I am very prolific. But when I get in that mode, I don't feel creative. I feel like a machine. I want to feel like a flower.

What will I commit to for the next four months for my writing?

1 hour a day of creative writing with no publication goal in mind.
1 hour a day of working on my books-in-progress so I don't feel suffocated by them.

Inching forward is better than procrastinating out of anxiety and then rushing to meet a deadline. I am also not going to take my deadlines so seriously right now. I will do my best, but if I need extensions, I will ask for them. This is also something new for me. I will go at a new pace -- s l o w.

It's after Labor Day. Does that mean summer is over? To me, yes. Even if it's still hot.

We always went back to school after Labor Day when I was a kid, and for me that will eternally be the marker that ends the summer season. So now what? I am going back to school, too. I have been working on my Lithuanian a little bit every day since I got back from my trip, but now I am making it an official part of the day. I am doing the same with writing exercises. I am going to somehow take 2 hours of my day and spend 1 hour on Lithuanian and 1 hour on writing -- as courses, not for work projects. I am going to select a new, special place for studying and I am going to go there 5 days a week -- Monday to Friday -- just as if it were a real school. A few years ago, I had time to go to German classes 3 times a week for 3 hour classes, so there's no reason I can't fit this into my schedule now. Real classes may be better because you have to show up and put your butt in the seat and pay attention, but I can do that on my own if I make a plan. There are no Lithuanian classes taught in Colorado and there are no writing classes where you just work on exercises and play.

I am going to use the book Sing Me The Creation by Paul Matthews as my writing text. A friend loaned me a copy of this book while I was in Vilnius and I just love it. It's not a book I would have bought on my own. I don't think it's on the shelves of many American book stores, first. And second the author uses a lot of Christian references and, as you probably have noticed if you've been reading my blog for any length of time, I am not a Christian. The thing is, even though I am basically a materialist or naturalist in my views, I believe there is a spiritual dimension to the human experience, and I am very interested in how we can develop spiritually, even in the absence of supernatural forces. I've also noticed that many of the people I am most attracted to, the people I find most interesting, the people who touch something deep in my own "soul," are people who are also interested in spiritual growth. What does that even mean to those of us who don't believe in gods or spirits or even souls? For me it means I believe that intelligence and culture and language and emotion and art give humans the ability to experience life on a level that is not available to most creatures, and that we can grow beyond our evolutionary limitations by using this new level of consciousness and we can use some of the language of religion metaphorically to express these ideas, because no other language of spirituality has (yet) been developed. Or something like that.

That's enough for today. I have a lot of work to do but I hope to write (and think) more on these subjects in the coming weeks.

Cross posted on Skepchick.

Other writers must get the same blues at the end of the summer!

5 simple ways to just keep writing from Wil Wheaton:

1. Blog less.
2. Make a deadline for yourself.
3. Give yourself little rewards.
4. Don't show your work to anyone until the first draft is done.
5. Find an editor who you trust to work with you.


6 guaranteed creativity killers from Cynthia Morris:

1. Naysayers.
2. Too much TV.
3. Endless Internet surfing.
4. Talking about creating.
5. Ye of little faith.
6. Shopping.

I'll admit it. The truth is, I haven't written anything since I got back from Lithuania. Nothing more than a few journal entries and blog posts. I thought this trip would fill the well, so to speak, and I definitely have a new project I want to explore. The problem is I have one book in production, two books to finish writing before the end of the year, and two more to write next year. I am always most excited about the newest idea and least excited about the one that needs to be finished. I don't want to be working on so many projects at once anymore. So what am I to do? Hold off on the new project until I finish everything else? That will be about 18 months! By then the new project may whither away and in the meantime, how do I get myself to work on the projects I was excited about last year? Somehow I need to get over this hump to the place where I can work on only one or two projects at a time. How do I get from having 5 projects that seem to be standing in the way of what I want to do right now, to the point where I am working on the project that excites me the most? It's not that I don't want to write the books I already have in the works. It's just that every time I sit down to work on them, I end up staring at the page -- it may be blank, it may be filled with draft material -- for an hour or two, adding a sentence here, deleting a sentence there, but basically getting nowhere. An hour or two usually gives me a pile of new material that is exciting. But now it just feels like a waste of time. I hate it. I am in the doldrums creatively. I need a good, strong east wind to get me out of this. I know you have to keep showing up at the page and trying to work. I am doing that. But sometimes when I really just force myself, the words that fill the pages are so dull that I just end up deleting them anyway. I prefer to wait for inspiration to strike. But when I have deadlines, that's not always possible. Where is my muse? Why aren't you talking to me? What have I done to scare you away? Please come back and whisper in my ear again! I need your help.